Fat Tuesday

One minute to launch. 

Weirdly, this was my groggy conscious getting serious after I'd invoked the snooze button for the third time this morning. This moment of motivation undoubtedly stemmed from a formative membership in the fifth grade Young Astronauts Club (you're damn right that's a real thing) and several field trips to NASA's Johnson Space Center. Undoubtedly.

But I digress. The truth is that (1) I still didn't get out of bed one minute later, and (2) I don't tend to launch myself anywhere. Unless by launch you mean move at a moderate speed in a reasonably direct path towards cake. In which case, perhaps my grumpy half-awake self knew that I'd want to get out of bed for this one.

Today is what folks along the Gulf Coast would call Fat Tuesday. That's the day when all of the Mardi Gras festivities culminate to explode in a cacophony of parade floats, body paint, plastic beads, and glitter. Or something like that. I've never been to New Orleans, and I've never truly celebrated Mardi Gras, but I did watch the Saints play in the Superbowl once.

Fact: I stood in a friend's living room in 2010 and drank champagne with cranberry and Grand Marnier.
Fact: I don't recollect what appetizer I brought to share (this has nothing to do with the champagne).
Fact: I vividly remember a soft, sweet, braided king cake that tasted like heaven in a cinnamon roll.
Fact: I have a genuine weakness for cream cheese filling.

Ian told me that the king cake had been special ordered from a bakery in New Orleans and he paid extra to have it delivered in time to celebrate the Saints' hopeful Superbowl win. In the year that followed, I begged; conjured up reasons; coerced; waited patiently for Ian to order another.

Instead, he sent me a web link for a bakery that *might* have been the place he ordered from.

We are done here, Ian. Finished. 

This is Ian and his wife, Tiffany.
Ian cannot be trusted.

It has been over four years since I tasted the confection of my dreams. FOUR YEARS. But the drought ends now, my friends. With the help of my trusty sous chef to my right (and sometimes left - that guy moves quickly), I rolled up my sleeves and dove into this recipe adapted from the LA Times.

I doubled the recipe with plans to eat a whole one taste test one and take the other to work. I whipped the eggs with the sugar and then proceeded to mix in 10 tablespoons of butter (one. tablespoon. at. a. time.) before I realized that I was supposed to add the yeast before the butter (you know how baking can be finicky like that). I took a breath and blended it all together with the hand mixer.....

My dreamy king cake quickly became a cold, sloppy swamp of yellow fat clumping in foamy, brown milk, utterly unlike any other recipe I had ever made. It was not good. The sous chef and I deliberated for a solid 3 minutes about whether to scratch the batch and save the bread flour or to forge ahead. Ultimately, we decided that there was nothing to lose, and I started trickling in the flour.

Low and behold, the dough came together and ended up alright alright alright*.

The cake was divine. Sometimes things just work out for the best**.

To pay homage to my blog title, I thought it fitting to make the first post almost entirely about cake. If you are feeling motivated to try it out for yourself, find my slightly adapted recipe with cook's notes here.

*(did you read that in Matthew McConnaughey's voice??)
** And it's a good thing it did because, between preparation and waiting 3 hours for two separate rises of the dough, this cake took FIVE HOURS TO MAKE. It would have been a crying shame had the dough not actually pulled through for us.

King Cake

It's Fat Tuesday, ya'll! 

My dreams of king cake began approximately four years ago during a Superbowl party near Atlanta where my friend Ian contributed a traditional king cake in honor of the Saints' hopeful win. I haven't had a bite since that day, but it has been on the "to bake" challenge list for quite some time. Today, I am happy to announce that I did it (with a little help from my sous chef) - and it was a success! My version of the cake was slightly adapted from a recipe printed in the LA Times a few weeks ago. 

The base of the king cake is a buttery Brioche dough that is rolled out, filled, and twisted before forming the dough into a ring. The dough goes through two resting cycles and will take time to rise (I let mine rise for 1.5 hours each time for a total of 3 hours). I recommend activating the yeast, measuring ingredients, and making the Brioche first. You can whip up the fillings while the dough in on its first rise. Feel free to get creative with fillings. I love the cream cheese, but simple cinnamon/sugar, toasted pecans, or other fruit fillings would be just as amazing. The recipe instructions call for use of a stand mixer with whisk and paddle attachments, but the sous chef doesn’t have one at his apartment, so I went ahead and manually kneaded the dough once it was too thick for the hand mixer. 


Tradition suggests that a small plastic baby (symbolizing the baby Jesus) or other trinket is to be inserted into the cake prior to serving. The person who happens to get the piece of cake containing the baby is said to have good luck and is also invited to bring the next king cake. We searched high and low for the food safe plastic babies in Des Moines during an early March snow storm and finally found them at Hobby Lobby. We are far, far away from the Gulf Coast and apparently they don’t take kindly to cookin' babies in cakes up here. (I hid the babies in the cakes after baking so as to avoid any possible toxic plastic fume infusion into the cake.)


As I mentioned before, this cake was worth the elbow grease and the dough was far more forgiving than I expected. Enjoy!

King Cake

Total time: 1 hour, 45 minutes (plus rising times)

Servings: 16

TOTAL INGREDIENTS (Dough and Fillings):

2 sticks butter (room temperature)

2 large tart apples (peeled, cored, quartered, and sliced)

1 tablespoon dark brown sugar

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup raisins

18 oz (2 ¼  8-ounce packages) cream cheese

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

3/4 cup powdered sugar, sifted

3/4 c plus 2T sugar

3 eggs

3/4 cup milk, divided

1 package (2½ teaspoons) active dry yeast

3 1/2 cups (15.75 ounces) bread flour, plus more for dusting

Purple, green and gold/yellow colored sugars

Plastic baby

INSTRUCTIONS:

Brioche Dough

3/4 cup milk, divided

1 package (2½ teaspoons) active dry yeast

1/3 cup plus 1 teaspoon sugar, divided

2 eggs, plus ½ beaten egg (use the remaining half egg leftover from the cream cheese filling), divided

10 tablespoons (1 stick plus 2 tablespoons) butter, at room temperature

3 1/2 cups (15.75 ounces) bread flour, plus more for dusting

1/2 teaspoon salt

1. In a small pan, heat one-half cup plus 2 tablespoons of milk over medium heat just until warmed. (Let’s not kid ourselves – I microwaved this for 45 seconds). Remove from heat and pour the milk into a small bowl or measuring cup. Stir in the yeast and 1 teaspoon of sugar, then set aside until the milk is foamy and the yeast is activated, about 10 minutes.

2. Whisk the 2 eggs in the bowl of a stand mixer using the whisk attachment (or in a large bowl with a hand mixer) until light and fluffy, about 1 minute. Stir in the yeast mixture and remaining one-third cup of sugar until fully incorporated.

3. If using a stand mixer, switch to the paddle attachment. With the mixer running, add the butter, 1 tablespoon at a time, until incorporated. (*see note in text)

4. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour and salt. With the mixer running, add the flour mixture, one spoonful at a time, until fully incorporated.

5. Remove the dough to a lightly floured surface and knead until it is soft and somewhat silky (it's a rich dough and won't be entirely smooth), 5 to 7 minutes. Place the dough in a large, oiled bowl and lightly cover with plastic wrap. Set aside in a warm place until doubled in size, 1 to 1½ hours. (I like to preheat the oven to 180-200 degrees and turn it off; then set the dough in the oven to rise; 90 minutes was perfect to double to size of the dough)

6. Meanwhile, make an egg wash: Combine the remaining beaten half egg with the remaining 2 tablespoons of milk.

7. When the dough is doubled, punch it down (it will be very smooth and elastic) and roll it out onto a lightly floured surface into a 10-by-28-inch rectangle. Lightly score the dough lengthwise to divide the dough into 2 equal halves.

8. Spoon the apple filling down the length of one side, leaving a 1½-inch border on the top, bottom and sides. Repeat with the cream cheese filling down the other side of the dough, leaving a 1½-inch border on the top, bottom and each side. Lightly brush the edges and center of the dough (along the score) with the egg wash to moisten. Gently and carefully pull the dough over the cream cheese filling, sealing the edge of the dough along the score mark. Repeat with the apple filling. For the love of all things holy, DON’T OVERFILL so that you can appropriately seal the edges - press them firmly together until they are SECURE.

9. Gently twist the length of the dough to form a braid-like shape. (Don’t lie. This doesn’t look like a braid). Wrap the dough so it forms an oval wreath and gently press the edges together. Carefully transfer the wreath to a parchment-lined baking sheet. (The sous chef helped lift the cake here… having four hands is a bonus)

10. Brush the top of the wreath lightly with egg wash and cover loosely with plastic wrap. Let the dough rise until almost doubled in volume, 45 minutes to an hour, or loosely cover and refrigerate the dough overnight, removing it from the refrigerator about 1 hour before baking for the dough to come to room temperature.

11. Heat the oven to 375 degrees. Lightly brush the wreath with any remaining egg wash (If you have overfilled and the dough is stretched thin, it will tear. Be careful) and place the sheet in the oven.

12. Bake the cake until golden brown on top and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean (the toothpick will remain moist if it hits the cream cheese filling, but there should be no crumbs sticking to it), about 30 minutes. Rotate the pan halfway through baking for even coloring.

13. Allow the cake to cool before it is frosted (if it's too hot, the glaze will run off the cake and not adhere). Drizzle the glaze evenly over the cake, then lightly sprinkle over the colored sugars. If using the plastic baby, hide it somewhere in the cake (press the baby in through the bottom of the cake so as not to disturb the top or sides of the cake). Serve the cake warm or at room temperature. (warmed is best!)



NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION (per serving):

Calories 408, Total Fat 24g, Cholesterol 101mg, Sodium 341 mg, Protein 7.1g, Fiber 1.1g

Apple and Cream Cheese Filling Recipes for King Cake:

For Apple Filling:

2 tablespoons butter

2 large tart apples, such as Granny Smith, peeled, cored, quartered and sliced crosswise into 1/4-inch slices

1 tablespoon dark brown sugar

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/4 cup raisins

In a large skillet over medium heat, melt the butter. Stir in the apple slices, brown sugar, cinnamon and salt, and cook, stirring frequently, just until the apple starts to soften, 3 to 4 minutes (the slices should still be crisp). Remove from heat and stir in the raisins. Spread the apple mixture onto a baking sheet to stop the cooking process and allow the apples to cool quickly, then cover and refrigerate until needed.

For Cream Cheese Filling:

1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese

3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/4 teaspoon salt

5 tablespoons sugar

1/2 beaten egg (save the other half egg to make the egg wash for the cake)

In the bowl of a stand mixer, or in a large bowl using a hand mixer, beat together the cream cheese with the vanilla, salt and sugar. Add the beaten egg to the cream cheese mixture and beat until thoroughly combined. Cover and refrigerate until needed.

For Cream Cheese Glaze:

2 ounces (¼ of an 8-ounce package) cream cheese

1/4 cup (½ stick) butter, at room temperature

1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/8 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup powdered sugar, sifted

In the bowl of a stand mixer, or in a medium bowl using a hand mixer, whisk together the cream cheese, butter, vanilla and salt until completely combined. With the mixer running, add the sifted powdered sugar, one spoonful at a time, until fully incorporated.

This recipe is quite a doozy for my first post, but it happened at the right time - and they don't call it "Fat" for nothin'!